When most people hear the word tantra, they picture candlelit rooms, elaborate sexual rituals, or even the promise of all-night orgasms. However, tantra is more than just sex in reality. Presence, connection, and divine energy are the foundations of this centuries-old spiritual practice. For beginners, exploring tantra is more about slowing down, opening up, and regaining closeness with others and yourself than it is about performing.
It’s a centuries-old spiritual practice rooted in presence, connection, and sacred energy.
(Photo by Isuru Ranasinha)
What Is Tantra, Really?
Tantra originates from ancient Hindu and Buddhist traditions, dating back over 1,500 years. The Sanskrit word tantra means “weave” or “loom,” symbolising the way life’s different threads — body, mind, spirit, sexuality, love — are woven into a unified whole. Unlike spiritual paths that reject the body, tantra embraces it. Pleasure, breath, and energy are seen as doorways to higher states of awareness.
Tantra Beyond Sex
Unlike spiritual paths that reject the body, tantra embraces it.
(Photo by Meghan Holmes)
In the West, tantra is often reduced to “sacred sex workshops.” While sexuality is a part of tantra, it is just one branch of a much larger tree. Essentially, tantra is about:
Presence: being totally present with both your lover and yourself is known as presence.
Connection: respecting closeness as sacred, whether it be by glance, touch, or breath.
Energy: acknowledging sexual energy as a vital force rather than merely a way to experience an orgasm.
Union is the merging of the self and the other, the body and the soul, and the masculine and feminine.
This means that tantra is more about developing a new quality of consciousness in daily life than it is about techniques.
Common Misconceptions About Tantra
Myth 1: Tantra = Sex. In truth, only a fraction of tantra deals with sexuality. The larger focus is on consciousness and energy.
Myth 2: Tantra is about performance. Tantra encourages slowing down, not trying harder. It’s about feeling more, not doing more.
Myth 3: You need a partner. Solo tantra practices, like breathwork, meditation, and self-touch, are powerful pathways to healing and self-discovery.
The Healing Side of Tantra
Modern therapists and somatic practitioners often draw from tantric principles to help people heal from shame, disconnection, and trauma. Breathwork, for example, regulates the nervous system and helps release stored tension in the body. Eye gazing creates oxytocin (the bonding hormone) and strengthens trust between partners. Mindful touch reawakens sensitivity and presence.
Scientific research also supports the benefits of tantric-inspired practices:
Breathwork reduces stress, lowers blood pressure, and increases emotional regulation.
Meditation and mindfulness (core tantric tools) improve focus and reduce anxiety.
Slow, conscious intimacy has been shown to deepen attachment bonds in relationships.
Simple Tantra Practices for Beginners
Touch your partner’s hand, face, or body with complete presence, as if it’s the first time.
(Photo by Katherine Hanlon)
You don’t need incense, mantras, or hours of free time to explore tantra. Here are a few beginner-friendly practices:
Breathing Together
Sit facing your partner and match your breath. Inhale and exhale at the same rhythm for a few minutes. Notice how it shifts your connection.Eye Gazing
Spend 2–5 minutes looking into your partner’s eyes without speaking. If you’re solo, try this in front of a mirror. It’s simple, yet profoundly intimate.Mindful Touch
Touch your partner’s hand, face, or body with complete presence, as if it’s the first time. Focus on sensation, not outcome.Self-Practice
Try slow breathing while gently placing your hands on your heart and lower belly. Notice how your body responds.
Why Tantra Matters Today
Tantra invites us back into slowness, presence, and love.
(Photo by Janner Jacobs)
We live in a fast, hyper-digital world where intimacy is often rushed, fragmented, or performed rather than felt. Tantra invites us back into slowness, presence, and love. Whether you practise alone or with a partner, tantra offers a path to healing, deeper intimacy, and a more sacred connection to pleasure.
Final Word: Sacred, Not Secret
Tantra isn’t about exotic rituals or chasing perfect orgasms. It’s about rediscovering the sacred in the ordinary, in your breath, in your body, in the eyes of the one you love. For beginners, the invitation is simple: slow down, be present, and treat intimacy as something holy.
More Resources
#1 Beginner’s Guide to Tantra: Understanding Sacred Sexuality and Spiritual Practice
An in-depth guide that clarifies common misconceptions and introduces tantra as a spiritual practice.
Somananda Tantra School – Tantra: A Comprehensive Guide for Beginners
#2 Tantric Sex Explained: Principles, Benefits, and How It Works
A medically-reviewed overview that explains the principles and benefits of tantric sex. WebMD – Tantric Sex: Everything You Need to Know
#3 Practical Tantra Techniques for Couples and Solo Practice
Offers practical tips and techniques for incorporating tantra into your sexual experiences.
MasterClass – How to Practice Tantric Sex With a Partner or Solo
#4 Sacred Sexuality 101: Steps to Deeper Intimacy and Spiritual Connection
Explores the concept of sacred sexuality and provides steps to enhance spiritual intimacy.
MindBodyGreen – What Is Sacred Sexuality? 11 Steps To Having More Spiritual Sex
#5 How Tantric Massage Can Improve Intimacy, Energy, and Connection
Discusses the benefits of tantric massage in improving sexual connection and energy flow.
Verywell Mind – Can Tantric Massage Enhance Your Sex Life?